Roses

I was drawn to revisit a poem, that I had written in 2014. At the time that I was writing the poem, I tried to feel what I was writing and make it feel real to the reader. It was almost impossible because I had never experienced losing anyone close to me.

I'm not sure if I'd have the ability to write it had I tried to write the same poem today. I'm experiencing the pain and I'm not completely sure how to put into words exactly what I feel. I've learned that that is fine. I've learned to feel on purpose. I've learned to be open with my loved ones about who they are to me and what they mean to me in my life.

Poem and description below.

So, I got the idea to write this poem from watching a movie. This is basically a eulogy to someone that I love. In the movie, the person wanted to attend their own funeral so he asked his closest friends to write a eulogy for him.

This is an honorable, yet unfathomable task to have to present these words today
It is both a privilege and a curse to have fell for and loved someone in this way
I have lived to tell of the greatest love story ever imagined between a woman and a king
But I have only left the memories of his perfection and his haunting in my dreams
My heart grieves incessantly, because never was I prepared to lose a light that shined so brightly in my life
My mind can't quite fathom how to lose so greatly, because never did we imagine that we might...
I can't really say enough about him...
His eyes lit up my sky and his laugh awakened my soul
He taught me that there was more to life and his absence left any room cold.
There's not enough that I can say...
His hands possesed magic that mended old wounds
His voice quaked my soul and from that we learned a new tune
He embodied hope, he was the prelude to my joy
I would have gladly drowned in his love and have it ballooned in my lungs
I found that home was in his heart and realized why any other place I've never belonged
I dove into his imperfections and vowed to deduce his pain
In turn, he kissed my tears with the same lips that always sang my name
My heart still skips beats for him...
I should pray to be relieved from this pain
But I won't, I don't think that I should
My love runs so deep, I'd be a fool if I would
Let him go
I could never forget how he read me so effortlessly
My manual was embedded in his being, and he swam every depth of me
I'd give the world just to see him, and have him here with me
But I won't be selfish
I have loved him for a thousand years, and I'll always have him in my heart
But for the life of me, I cannot fully comprehend why. I cannot comprehend that we have to be apart

"Instead of sending flowers, we're the roses" - Kanye West