Opinions are like...everyone has one

     Since before the hashtag (#relationshipgoals), it seemed that mostly everyone aspired to have the perfect relationship. Honestly, at one point, I was that girl. I felt that no man was worthy of my time, attention or love unless he checked off every box on "the list". (Lest I forget, he also had to be approved by the family.) Who or what created "the list"? Opinions created "the list" and they came flying from every which way.
 

     I carried "the list" with me on every single date. There were times that "the list" saved me but ultimately, it formed a standard man for me that I didn't even want. I discovered that truth after ending my first relationship. I stayed with the man for three, almost four years and throughout that time I felt that something was missing. The opinions, however, didn't want to be missed because they wouldn't stop coming. (I swear that relationship was me, him and opinions.) Even after breaking off the relationship, the opinions didn't stop. The opinions followed every situation after, until I took a note from Beyoncé (no, Sean and Beyoncé are not my #relationshipgoals). The world doesn't even know enough about their relationship to form a valid opinion (*cues shout music*). People have said, and still say, very negative things about The Carters but I say, "Do your thing Queen. They don't have to understand. As long as you're happy, that's all that matters."
 

     It took me a while to figure out but I think that I've got it. My relationship has thrived because of it and I couldn't be more pleased. I'm also pleased that my man is like-minded. It's not about keeping secrets for us, it's about protecting our space. We don't open up our relationship to be judged by others. That doesn't mean that we don't seek advice because we do. We are just very firm believers in seeking advice from those that have reached the heights that we attain to or that have surpassed them. Speaking for myself, I've only taken advice from one person regarding our relationship. That is in part because I know that not everyone will understand our relationship and also because from past experience, I don't trust everyone's opinion. I always wanted to be this way but everyone doesn't get it (men and women). I am a very open person but I also like to keep things sacred. This is why I don't, and won't, post about my relationship  (highs or lows) on social media. As a matter of fact, my goal is to be established well enough that by the time I do get married, I can just get rid of social media all together. And then, no one would know anything. But that's future talk, so I digress. The point is that I've found my voice and followed it. I'm happy and content in knowing that what I have works for me and mine.

 

"Toast to cliches in the dark past..."- Beyoncé